I was walking around the reservoir the other day and listening to music on my android phone. A real “oldies” song started playing and I listened to the words. They were originally from a French song written in 1945. The song was sung by a group called “The Browns” and the song is called “The Three Bells.” These are the lyrics:
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There’s a village hidden deep in the valley All the chapel bells were ringing There’s a village hidden deep in the valley |
All the chapel bells were ringing, From the village hidden deep in the valley Just a lonely bell was ringing |
The song really made me think about life and is this all there is to say about someone’s years on this earth – celebrate their birth, marriage and their death. There is certainly much more about a person and its up to us to remember that. It was kind of ironic when a few days later I heard about the passing of an old friend named Dave Haines. Veronica and I knew Dave through scuba diving. He ran a commercial scuba diving charter boat named “Seagull.” The boat was as quirky as Dave was. He always seemed to be working on it and it was difficult to dodge the remnants of diesel oil and sludge on the deck and in the cabin. The experience of diving with Dave made the grime easy to overlook.
I dove with Dave on the Seagull in the early days of my scuba diving. It was before I owned my own boat. I met a lot of good friends on that vessel.
This is how I remember Dave. He is travelling with his scooter on the artificial reef “Spartan” on the Sea Girt Artificial Reef. He was an excellent diver and boat captain. Some of his quirkiness was actually very funny. I remember being on the boat with him when he had trouble with his VHF radio. All aboard tried to keep a straight face when he ripped it from its mount and threw it overboard. On another occasion, we had planned on diving on a shipwreck named the “Riggie” when our photography, sightseeing and hunting dive turned into a salvage dive. As we approached the wreck, Dave yelled to his mate to throw the anchor over the side. The mate quickly sprang into action. All would have gone perfectly if the anchor line had been attached to the boat. We used a second anchor to hook in but our mission became a search for the lost anchor. I honestly don’t remember if we ever found it or not.
Dave’s friend, Duane Clause, said that Dave used to keep a coffee can filled with fishing sinkers on the boat and if any boats got too close to his divers, Dave would reach in the can and throw sinkers at the offenders.
So what’s the point of this blog. I am getting to it. Veronica and I lost touch with Dave in the last ten years or so. He had some health issues and also some financial setbacks. We got caught up in our everyday lives and Dave went on the back burner. Now that we hear about his passing that we begin to wonder how things came to be like this. It has happened before to us and in some cases, we had kept up the relationships and were thankful that we had and in others, we had not and were sad.
The measure of a person is in the friends and family that they leave behind. It’s not in their personal accomplishments or the amount of their wealth because neither of those things will keep a person’s memory alive long after they have departed. I have lost some really good friends over the years and it’s funny how their memories stay with me. I could be way down in the dumps and just a quick thought about any one of them brings a smile to my face. I would like to talk a little about those whom I met through scuba diving.
Yesterday, we had a great friend at the house, Susan Ballinger. Susan lost her husband, Don, to cancer and Don was a great friend. As I think about Don, I remember a lot of fun times and they always bring a smile to my face. One in particular is one of my favorites. We were on a boat off North Carolina coming in from way offshore after a day of scuba diving. The ocean was pretty rough and the waves were coming over the bow and over the cabin on the boat. Don and Duane Clause were in their wetsuits on the back deck and they were both soaked. The remainder of our group were in the cabin relaxing.
Don and Duane climbed up on the roof of the boat cabin and leaned over and looked into the cabin windows where we were seated. They both had their dive masks on and it was one of the most hilarious things that I have ever seen.
I am really not sure how they were able to hold on in the rough seas but they did.
The photo at the right is Don on the back deck of the boat. It isn’t a great shot but it sure was Don at his funniest. I am sure that we all have a story like this about all of our friends. It is the kind of thing that we can hold onto long after they are gone.
When Don passed, I started looking for photos of him so that I could make a collage for the viewing. I had known Don for many, many years and I found myself struggling to find photos of him. I found about thirty or forty and couldn’t believe that I didn’t have more. First, I expected Don to always be here and I never thought that I would need photos of him for this reason. I was mad at myself that I didn’t have more. Did it make me start taking more photos of my friends and family? I don’t go out of my way to do it but I cherish every picture that I have and cherish all the new ones that I take.
I had another good friend, Captain George Hoffman, who had a commercial scuba diving boat, Sea Lion. I never dove from the boat but George and I were friends. We shared an interest in scuba diving, artifacts and computers. I remember when George was sick and really wanted to have a new, faster computer. I told him that we could purchase the parts and that I would build it for him. It was one of the times in life that it would have been east (and convenient) to blow off and/or put off to another more convenient time. I didn’t and George was really happy with his new, fast computer. He passed not long after that. I don’t think that I was aware at the time how sick George really was. I never regret spending the time to help out my friend.
There were others who I think of often and who I miss dearly. First in mind is Dan Kirby. He was an amazing person. He is the only person that ever took our son scuba diving in New Jersey without Veronica and I. That is
how much we trusted him. I heard someone say that they had never heard Dan say a harsh word about anyone. Image going through an entire lifetime and having someone say that about you. I wish that I could say that I will fall into that same category but I won’t.
My favorite story about Dan was when he received a new speargun for Christmas and decided to try it out in his backyard. A speargun has a line attached to the gun and the spear so that you don’t lose the spear after shooting it underwater. Dan tried the gun out with the line attached to the spear. The spear flew out of the gun, went until it ran out of line and then snapped back and stuck him in the foot. I have a smile for ear-to-ear whenever I think about that story.
I am not done yet. There is one other person that I knew through scuba diving that I want to mention. Veronica always said that he gave the best hugs. He was a gentle man who was a commercial fisherman, a hunter and love the outdoors. He was a strong person but you never heard him talk about himself. He was a dedicated partner and we are all worse off not having him around. His name is Ed Maliczewski. He allowed me into his home to
photograph his artifacts when I was doing an article for a scuba diving magazine. He and his partner, Scottie Franklin became great friends and Veronica and I are lucky to know them.
I have lost other friends whom I met scuba diving and I miss them also. Their names may or may not mean anything to you but them meant a lot to Veronica and I and I think that they deserve a spot in this blog. Our first loss was Cliff Haney. Veronica and I were out diving that day and listened to frantic divers trying to save Cliff when he surfaced with a huge bag of scallops. Marjorie Bank was an outspoken and talented underwater photographer that left this world much to early and although we only got to see her once or twice a year at dive shows, she made you fell like you knew her forever. Then there was Bill Smoldt who owned a dive shop in Brielle, New Jersey. My son, Tom, worked at Bill’s dive shop and book store. Bill’s life was lost while scuba diving. Our latest loss was Wes Skiles, an incredible underwater cave diver and cinematographer. He departed this world while on dive assignment for National Geographic on a seemingly easy dive.
One thing that I have learned about life is that it can change in the blink of an eye and you or someone you know and love can be gone just as quickly.
I suppose that what I want to say is that it is so important that we cherish the time that we have with family and friends because you never know when that will be taken away from you. When it does happen, it often happens so fast that there is no time to make up for lost time. The next time that you run into someone that means something to you, take the time to stop and catch up. Build that list of memories that will allow them to live in your heart for as long as you are on this earth.
For those of you who have never heard the song, “The Three Bells,” click click the play button below to listen.
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The Three Bells by The Browns |
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© 2011, Herb Segars. All rights reserved.
